4 Things Every Soon-To-Be Parent Should Know

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We recently started a babies class at the Portsmouth gym. A class to get the new moms out of the house and can socialize as their babies, crawl, drool and attempt to climb up on mats. I have had a chance to listen to the moms talk about life as a new MOM. Here is there list of 4 Things every soon to be parent should know.

 

1. You will never sleep again.

Remember when you could sleep in late after a night out, or just a night spent watching movies? Well, you won’t be doing either of these things after your little one arrives. Instead, you will be waking up at all hours of the night, either feeding your newborn or dealing with your toddler who just won’t stay asleep. The endless nights of interrupted sleep will make you cranky, irritable, and just downright unpleasant to be around. The sleep deprivation will cause you to argue about stupid things with your spouse, you will forget what you did an hour ago or what you ate yesterday, and you may even feel depressed. And don’t be fooled by parents who tell you that as soon as your child is sleep trained, you’ll sleep again. Not the case. Sure, they’ll sleep longer, but if you put them down at 7 p.m., they are sure to wake up at 5 a.m. You will also undoubtedly have to deal with the occasional wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night crying where you have to “shhh” them in the monitor to get them to fall back asleep. So it’s still no uninterrupted sleep. And unless you plan on going to bed at 9 p.m., you won’t get eight hours of sleep ever again. So until they turn 18 and leave the nest, forget it, hook an IV of coffee to your arm and call it a day. Our Daughter is 21 our son 17 and we are soon to be empty nesters. I have long ago lost the ability to sleep past 6AM

2. Your social life will consist of your kid’s playdates’ parents.

Remember when you were a kid and your parents made you invite those kids down the street or those young relatives to your birthday that weren’t your friends? You were forced to play with kids you didn’t even really know? That’s what it’s like when the only adult social life you have consists of your kid’s friends’ parents. Being forced to play with people who aren’t your friends. Don’t get me wrong, there are some really cool parents out there. One of my best friends I met because their daughter was on a team with our daughter.  But often, you are forced to interact with adults you would never be friends with if it weren’t for the fact that your kids were friends with their kids. Listening to hours of uninteresting conversation about nothing or mostly about how fabulous they think their child is can really drive a person to drink.  If enduring playdates with annoying parents is not love, then I don’t know what love is. Believe me,  now that my children are adults (or soon to be) I plan on reminding them how much I loved them because I tortured myself for years with these playdates. Hopefully this will guilt them into not putting me into an old folks home.

3. Your house will never be clean again.

Remember when your life was organized? When the floors and countertops were clean? When you knew where everything was? For those “Type A”, you will literally have anxiety if you don’t come to terms with the fact that you will never, ever have a clean, organized home again. My mother told me that having kids would break me, and I guess in a way it has. Things that would drive me nuts in my pre-kid days just don’t seem to bother me anymore. I understood early on that if I was going to survive this parenting thing, some things, I just had to let go. And one of those letting go things was having a clean home. I don’t even apologize anymore when people come over. I just assume that people understand that the “Tasmanian Devil” type of mess in my home can only be created by my children. Even though my children are older my sons shoes are stacked by the front door, his school books stacked on the coffee table and floor in the living room. My office has become a music studio loaded with a piano, numerous guitars (OK, some of the guitars are mine) and various recording equipment. When our daughter is home from college there are plastic bins filling her room and overflowing into the hallway. (A great invention would be that these bins could interlock like huge legos. We could possibly build an addition to the house with them). Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like a little chaos is bad. It is good to have a house that does not look like a museum and we certainly do not just sit in this chaos without a care. It just means, there’s not much we can do about it. When they were younger my wife and I  would spend anywhere from 20-30 minutes post bedtime organizing countless toys in their respective bins, cleaning bottles, sippy cups and dishes from the food fest, and picking up dirty clothes. When the kids wake in the morning and run to play, we would calmly sip our coffee while we watch them literally destroy, in five minutes, what took 30 minutes to clean the night before. Coffee helps my overall anxiety about it

4. You will fall asleep during date night.

Remember when you looked forward to date night before you had kids? Remember how much fun it was to dress up and do your make-up and hair for that cool hip restaurant you’re having dinner at? Now, on the rare occasion you have a date night, by the time you get the kids to bed and go over instructions with the babysitter in case they wake, or better yet, go over the instructions for the complicated remote controls for your TV, you will be throwing your clothes on and realizing that your make-up and hair are just fine. After all, you’re a mom now and who the hell cares about you anyway? You used to obsess about every detail before you walked out the door, wanting to look absolutely perfect for the world. Now, you’re just hoping you’ll stay awake for dinner. And you won’t. Before the main course arrives, you will start yawning. Your spouse will want to order dessert, and you’ll be like, “Babe, I’m so tired. Can we just go home and snuggle?” Yep, snuggle. Ahhh… remember when it was sex? Now, it’s date night and snuggle.

(The original Source: 5 Hilarious Things Every Soon-To-Be Parent Should Know I took artistic liberties in editing and content to relate it better to the parents at the gym and my life)

 

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